What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
12.06.2025 08:00
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
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Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
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And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
What is the boldest and craziest thing your mother has ever done for you?
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
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Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
TEXT:
Why do so many people like life?
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
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Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Make Nazis afraid again!
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Why is Canada letting too many Indians in Canada?
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
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But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!